closet gnostic OR "blue pill or red pill?" OR too old to deny it any longer

I started this blog last year

• to process my latest transition
• to share cross-cultural insights that might help others
• to have a format and some motivation for writing.

But a couple of months ago I couldn't do it anymore.
Maybe I was adjusting to life in Dubai.
Maybe I was finding other ways to satisfy my craving to teach.
Maybe I wasn't cut out to be a blogger.

Maybe.

I wrote lightspot as a cross-cultural journey blog with a bit of spiritual insight thrown in. But my writing urges were taking a different direction. Something less cross-cultural and more spiritual. And I wasn't ready to go there on a blog. At least not on this blog.

Gradually, I became conscious that something else was going on, too. Something hidden. Something I couldn't quite wrap my brain around. Something wasn't sure I wanted it brought into that Divine lightspot. So deep and disturbing that I could not blog about something else. 

One day in May I realized that this journey was taking an unexpected turn. And I didn't like where it was going.

Like it or not, God used 4 strangers, an art project, an in-law, and a 3-week stay in an Indian naturopathic clinic to get it through my thick skull that I am not just mind, emotion and spirit. I am also body.

It's been 2 weeks since I returned from what proved to be a difficult and enlightening physical-spiritual experience in India. But already I see myself moving away from the light, longing for the darkness of denial, wanting to go back to the path I'd been on. But there's no going back. 

So I think it's time to tell a bit about it all. Time to bring not only my mind and heart and soul into the light, but my body as well.



highlight
I wanted this art project to be the introduction to the things I'll be blogging over the next few weeks. You can find my piece on the top row, center. 


reflection
I have a body. That conclusion should have been easier to come to in my nearly 54 years of living. But like so many other things, assenting to a truth mentally is no guarantee that that truth is connected to ones heart, soul and body.

What do you "know" or "believe" that is not evident in how you live?
What parts of 'you' feel disconnected from the rest of you?
What aspects of life or self do you tend not to pay attention to or shy away from?